she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize