so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
