Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
