dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Randomize
