I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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