okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
