There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
