: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
