How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My liver just had a heart attack.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
