even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
