clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
