Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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