just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There was a lot of him and a little penis
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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