As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
