we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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