At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
