If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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