Your face is a jimmy john
my vag is so smooth its legendary
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
