This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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