last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
