So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
