I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
