I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
