I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
