are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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