We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
