you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
