I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
