It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think I won the penis lottery.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Randomize