Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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