i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
