eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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