if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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