Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
