So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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