I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
