Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
