do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
