ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
