I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
