I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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