found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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