We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
