I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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