Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize