$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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