Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
