Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
In America we eat man semen.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I would ride that face into the sunset
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
