And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
