was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
farters have to be the big spoon...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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