So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
