Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
