She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
