Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
