Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
