she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
