I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize