ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize