So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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